Give
your "presence" to someone this season...
December marches resolutely by as we all rush to get our lists
done and eat all the food put in front of us!
Give your “presence” to someone
this season… 
As I sit on seawalls, beaches and docks, or ride around in my
kayak with my dog Rhino, I am overwhelmed with the sense of life
that surrounds me every day - dolphins bursting unexpectedly in
front of my eyes right off my dock, big fish herding bait fish
up on the beach where the seagulls can have a virtual feast, osprey
fishing; their great wingspans allowing them to bank and swirl
just as I feel I am banking and swirling in my life. In fact,
life is good. We weren’t promised roses and yet every day
I feel as though someone hands me a bouquet. In other words, I’m
grateful for my life and I have many reasons to be.
These thoughts led me into thoughts of the “season”
which lies ahead of us for December—you know, “Christmas.”
This is the holiday during which we are supposed to express our
love to others. The original stories I learned as a child focused
on teaching me to be a good child, honor my family and remember
whose birthday it is. Because we had little money, Christmas especially
was a time to be with friends, enjoy wonderful food, listen to
good music and to hear lots of interesting conversations. One
or two presents were sufficient because we didn’t “expect”
much.
 However,
somewhere along the way consumerism became popular and the marketing
gurus gobbled up all the good parts of the stories about Jesus
and Mary and Joseph and replaced them with inserts which read
like this: “If you are really thankful then you will buy
something or somethings for someone who you don’t really
feel friendly towards but who lives across the street and she
gave you a present last year and so, oh well, I guess you have
to give her one this year.”
Or how about this one? “We’re all getting in the car
and driving to grandma’s house but not until we have gone
out and searched high and low and found something to give to grandma,
not because she actually needs anything, but because you HAVE
to since she’ll have a present for you…”
I could go one for pages with more examples of how commercialism
has taken our stories of comfort and joy about the season away
from us and given us bursting credit cards in return, which we
can’t repay the next month so we have interest to boot.
Christmas has become a burden, a busy time with little time to
rest and enjoy what is really happening. In other words, being
grateful has been turned into a contest to see who can show their
family, friends or co-workers that they can come up with the best
present for the best price. In fact, sending a present has become
more important than going to see someone. Here’s a little
story to give us some perspective:
Jesus at the Mall
 Jesus
walks into a mall two days before Christmas. He’s been
visiting friends and decides to see what other people do for
this time of year (let’s not get caught up in whether
you believe in Jesus or not…just listen a little longer.)
As he looks around the mall he shakes his head a couple of times.
“Where am I?” he asks. He knows he’s been
here before a long time ago, but this doesn’t look familiar
at all. He looks in amazement as he walks slowly by some young
people and he hears “Mother…” “Son of….”
“Shi…NO”. He sees a couple of older people
sitting, a few others napping on a bench but otherwise everyone
else seems to be running. They are carrying packages in their
arms and their faces show the degree to which they have overspent.
 Finally,
Jesus can’t stand it any longer. He stops a man whose
arms are filled to the top with packages and says, “What
is going on here? Why is everyone angry and running so fast
from one place to another?” The man looks at Jesus with
an expression of pity and says, “Where have you been?
Don’t you know this is the time of year when you have
to spend all your free time looking for gifts for people who
don’t need or want anything and spending money you don’t
have? Don’t you remember?”
Jesus responds, confused, “But why?”
The man responds, “Because that’s what you have
to do.”
“But why? Jesus asks again.
“Because it’s Jesus’ birthday, that’s
why,” the man blurts out.
Jesus thinks about this for a moment and then looks at the man
very steadily and says, “I didn’t say bring me presents.
I said, bring me your presence. Be with me. Come share time
with me. The three wise men brought me presents, that is true.
But it is not true that the presents were what were most important.
What was most important to me was that they walked so far to
be with me to share their presence on my special birth day.”
The man puts down his packages. He looks at Jesus and he says,
“You didn’t care about the presents? You mean we’ve
been marketed into thinking that everyone needed “presents”
when all they wanted was presence? Our presence? My presence?
Jesus smiles and says, “Exactamento. If
you really want to celebrate the birth of Christ, or the birth
of anyone, for that matter, give them your presence. Go see
them. Write them. Email, telephone or pray for them. These are
true gifts. Store-bought gifts are okay if there is something
someone would really need or use and you want to gift them something,
but it isn’t tied to Christmas. It’s tied to you
showing your love or friendship or support to another person.
Few people really need more stuff. But more love, more personal
time with someone who listens to them? Oh, yes. We all want
that.”
“Oh, sorry,” Jesus says as the man stands open mouthed,
“I’m talking too much again.” The man quickly
says, “No, no, go on. I am so glad to hear this message.
With what I have spent on Christmas already it will take me
three to four months to pay it off. And for what? Most gifts
are just recycled anyway.”
“Well,” Jesus says to the man. “I’m
thankful for having met you sir. Your presence has added to
my life and is a gift to me. Thank you.” Jesus smiled
and turned to go when the man said, “Uh, yeah, thanks.
Well, I mean, you taught me a lot and I appreciate your presence
too.”
 I
tell this little story because I want you to stop this season
and look around. To whom do you want to give a present of your
presence? When all is said and done, it’s not how much you
have but how much you have given that counts. In the photo I am
standing with my father and brother, both of whom I didn’t
see all that much. In fact, I can only remember eight or ten times
that I actually saw my father, so in this picture his presence
means a whole lot to me. So much so that I’ve spent a lifetime
remembering those few times.
People are important. For instance, can you imagine
anyone laying on their death bed saying, “Boy I wish I had
bought more Gucci shoes,” or “What I wouldn’t
give to have one more chance to buy a house in Costa Rica.”
No, I think we all want to be smiling and thinking of all the
wonderful gifts we have given and received through our presence
and other people's presence over our lifetimes.
I remember one Christmas morning when my granddaughters were six
and I was watching them come down the stairs to see the Christmas
tree smothered with gifts. They were all filled with excitement
at first. They walked around the tree and looked at every shape
wrapped gift imaginable. They kept walking around and around but
picking up nothing. Suddenly I knew what the problem was—they
had toooo many gifts! They didn’t know where to start. Finally
Nicole just picked up a big box and started tearing it apart.
Inside was a doll with a whole set of clothes. As she took the
doll out and started playing with the clothes I could see that
she was happy. She loved dolls. She sat down and started to play
like it was all over. She had the present that would make her
happy all day. Rachel took the other box that looked like Nicole’s
and she too soon had her doll and was playing happily.
I became anxious. “Aren’t they going to open any other
presents?” I thought to myself. What I was really saying
was, “Aren’t they going to open my presents I brought
them?” Mom and Dad became anxious too and one of them said,
“Okay, girls, that’s just one of your presents. Look
to see what else you have gotten from Santa Claus.”
Right here, right here in this little statement is everything
we have to learn about Christmas. We adults think that more is
better. That one more present makes it a “better”
Christmas. That the girls will be happier if they open “more”
presents. And the fact of the matter was, the girls were done.
They had their dolls, along with new doll clothes and they had
Mom and Dad and me around them. They were happy. They needed no
more.
So this holiday try to find some way to introduce the thought
into your celebrations that what Jesus and all the great teachers
in our lives want us to learn is to be thankful for what we have,
even if it is little. To be thankful for the people who are in
our lives, even if they are few. It is relationships that make
us happy. Good relationships. Good relationships start when you
let the people you love know you love them by giving them your
presence in whatever way you can. Yes, you hear me correctly.
Don’t go running through the stores spending money you don’t
have and wasting time you don’t have. Give that time to
someone. Listen to them tell their stories and watch them respond
in a totally different way. Then you’ll have a little money
left over in January and you can contribute to a charity or cause
that needs the money or use it to treat yourself or the family.
Now that’s a win win if I ever heard it and everyone’s
happier too!
I Found the picture on the right of 8th Avenue in
Pass-a-Grille. If you have more information on it, please let
us know. It looks like the flooding that occurred in the late
1980’s from an unnamed storm. Be sure to check out the Our
History button on the left of the Home Page to see more photos
of our area in the old days.
Blessings to all, give lots of hugs to friends and others, and
think about the gifts you have in your life every day—starting
with your breath. Go ahead, take a deep breath and let it out
slowly and see if you don’t feel better too. Merry Christmas
to all!
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